German Table Manners, German Etiquette
By Nick • Aug 30th, 2007 • Category: Customs
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Germans tend to find it important that you use your best Etiquette. When eating at the table make sure to eat properly and act appropriately.
In my own experience, I still had a lot of rules to learn in order to make a good impression in Germany. This is especially important when meeting Germans for the first time.
The following guide from kwintessential.co.uk will help make sure that you make a good impression:
“Meeting Etiquette
• Greetings are formal.
• A quick, firm handshake is the traditional greeting.
• Titles are very important and denote respect. Use a person’s title and their surname until invited to use their first name. You should say Herr or Frau and the person’s title and their surname.
• In general, wait for your host or hostess to introduce you to a group.
• When entering a room, shake hands with everyone individually, including children.
Gift Giving Etiquette
• If you are invited to a German’s house, bring a gift such as chocolates or flowers.
• Yellow roses or tea roses are always well received.
• Do not give red roses as they symbolize romantic intentions.
• Do not give carnations as they symbolize mourning.
• Do not give lilies or chrysanthemums as they are used at funerals.
• If you bring wine, it should be imported, French or Italian. Giving German wines is viewed as meaning you do not think the host will serve a good quality wine.
• Gifts are usually opened when received.
Dining Etiquette
If you are invited to a German’s house:• Arrive on time as punctuality indicates proper planning. Never arrive early.
• Never arrive more than 15 minutes later than invited without telephoning to explain you have been detained.
• Send a handwritten thank you note the following day to thank your hostess for her hospitality.
Table manners
• Remain standing until invited to sit down. You may be shown to a particular seat.
• Table manners are Continental — the fork is held in the left hand and the knife in the right while eating.
• Do not begin eating until the hostess starts or someone says ‘guten appetit’ (good appetite). • At a large dinner party, wait for the hostess to place her napkin in her lap before doing so yourself.
• Do not rest your elbows on the table.
• Do not cut lettuce in a salad. Fold it using your knife and fork.
• Cut as much of your food with your fork as possible, since this compliments the cook by indicating the food is tender.
• Finish everything on your plate.
• Rolls should be broken apart by hand.
• Indicate you have finished eating by laying your knife and fork parallel across the right side of your plate, with the fork over the knife.
• The host gives the first toast.
• An honoured guest should return the toast later in the meal.
• The most common toast with wine is ‘Zum Wohl!’ (’good health’).
• The most common toast with beer is ‘Prost!’ (’good health’). “
Follow these steps and you should do fine!
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Interesting.
Any idea why German etiquette-in-USA tips lists say that Americans cut their meat into little pieces before starting to eat?
Well, I am German and I think some of the “rules” you mention are ok, but some of them are overly formal and may be suitable in the higher society. If you are invited to a dinner in a normal family or to friends, I can’t think of a situation an American would have problems with his table manners. If he or she have some! So, don’t think too much about it and enjoy the dinner!
Regards
Markus
In regard to what mollyb said, I’ve noticed this too. My first dinner out with Germans was to a restaurant with big chunks of meat. I cut my meat into bite-sized pieces, put the knife down and the fork back into my right hand to eat. I didn’t realize that I was being watched because of my bizarre behavior. Luckily, though, I was later told by two of them that they think it makes more sense the way Americans do it. LOL. I still can’t eat like Germans with a knife or spoon in one hand and a fork in the other. Probably never will, no matter how much etiquette says otherwise. But somehow I don’t really feel the need to change it. I’m American and we’re different and maybe that just makes me more interesting to watch at the table =;-)
Regarding dbunny’s comment.
Cutting your meat first before start eating and then putting the knife down is a definite NO GO in Germany. People will start looking at you as it’s perceived very rude and as typical american Wild West manners… I’d been living in the States for a while and noticed that’s this is common practice. For me (as German) that kept looking strange especially when people lower their heads and start shovelling the food.
In the case your not feeling comfortable using the knife over the complete meal make at least sure to put your hands ON the table. I would think not using the knife over the meal may be excused but putting your left hand under the table makes it even worse…
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My bf is German. I’ve been to his parents house many times. For me it is a bit difficult and weird to call his parents Herr and Frau, but we hands with and after that always comes a nice hug by them
About the table manners… Germans are pretty strict about them - no elbows on the table, no cutting the potatoes with knife, no shoveling the food etc. Since German culture is very similar to mine there are no problems (I like good table manners, I hate to feel as if eating with pigs), but there are some things that are no go for me but seem to be normal there. Talking with mouth full for example… I hate that, but there it seems to be ok. Lol.
I would liked to know more.
When I was in Germany, I dined with friends. A woman whom I’d never met joined us for our dinner. I ate with my elbows off the table and for the most part, enjoyed what little of my meal I could eat. Another friend of theirs joined us for dinner as I said. I sat and listened as she slurped the soup (and even sucked it though her front teeth). She talked all the way through dinner in German, though she is well spoken in English and you could see everything in her mouth. I lay my fork and knife over my plate and listened to her. I know my friends thought I did not enjoy my meal, but I made a complaint later of my stomach and they seemed happy with that excuse. I taught my children not to talk with full mouths as toddlers. I found her gross and noisey. She made several comments about Amercians making every dish a finger food. That may be; but at least I dont make people ill watching and hearing me eat it. As to the talking with a full mouth being normal, I think it depends on the individual. I believe they find us eating a sandwich with our fingers equally disgusting. Its just impossible for me to see eating a sandwitch with my fingers as disgusting as watching someone gobble, slurp and gulp their dinner!
Please let me add that my Fiance complains about me eating with my fingers food that are considered “Finger Foods”.. fried chicken, sandwiches.. ect.